Semi-meaningful Musing: Moving for your Partner

How far would you move for your partner?  I've moved 9532 miles or 15340 kilometers for my husband.  Oooh yeah that's a long flight.  We had said that we would move for the person that got the better job first.  Mr. Gadget got an amazing opportunity in Singapore - one that could potentially put us into a much more comfortable financial situation.  So of course, we started packing and prepping for this trip.


The only other option was for me to stay in NYC where I had more of a professional network. I know a few couples that had done or are doing long distance (as in different countries!)  But I remember one of those friends remarking "Long-distance is hard, but the saddest or scariest part is getting used to living your life without (your partner)."  Sigh, we already lived very separate lives when I was in grad school and the distance and separation of lifestyles was taxing on us.  I admire couples that can live apart but we knew that wasn't an option for us.

From here

But moving, compromising, and setting aside your immediate (and possible impacting your future) goals isn't easy either.   I'm a woman with a pretty solid academic and professional background.  I'm also distinctly aware that I only have limited years to fully concentrate on my career before any family possibilities could change everything.  Moving for your partner is definitely one of the ultimate tests of compromise.


I don't know if there's necessarily a magic formula for how to make it work.  For me, it's been about prioritization, faith and hard work.  If your prioritization is the relationship, then make that choice as hard as it may be on your other choices.  Then use both faith and your own perseverance to make the move work for you.  I'm in that process now - being open about the opportunities, getting to know our new neighborhoods, and of course hanging out with the Mr.   It's not always easy, but it gets easier.  Anyway, what use are my Chic 'n Cheap finds and adventures if I didn't have Mr. Gadget (or Spend 'n Chomp, his other name) to share them with me?


Oh and dear Mr. Spend 'n Chomp, I got a Hermes scarf as a little gift for myself from your signing bonus - you'll see that and maybe a handbag on my Paypal/credit card statements.  Moving does have its benefits. ♡

Photo Love: It only takes a moment

Suddenly, life can change in an instant.  Things are never the same.

 

Image taken from here 

I really want to get a great SLR to take high speed photography

Birth.  Death.  Joy.  Chance encounters.  Acceptance.  Rejection.  Love.  

Our lives can be so different because of one thing.

One day we were/are living in London, another I will in Singapore.  New York of course will always be my home though it's obviously harder to get to from SE Asia.  But I have to accept this change and make the most out of my situation.  I see a new (and hopefully cool) job, adventures in the silk markets in Thailand, and some self-defense lessons.  (If you really want me to tell you the story of the last part, I will later.  It was really bizarre and a little scary.)

"For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future." John F. Kennedy.

So own that change, make another change, and live your life looking forward.

Semi-Meaningful Musing: Life as a Photo Shoot and Finding Happiness with your Imperfect Pictures

So I've been thinking (or rather this has been festering) for a while.  How do you stop obsessing over pictures or having or not having the perfect pictures?  We may wish for, set up, and style those perfect picture settings for life's main events: a wedding, a child's early moments, or a significant birthday party.  But this fixation on having perfect pictures REALLY starts becoming a tad unhealthy when certain brides starting planning their weddings.  Or at least I know it did for me and I didn't even have a clue about good photography prior to wedding planning.

After all, I remember starting to read inspiration and planning sites, stalking photographer blogs, flipping through magazines, and comparing my friend's pictures. 

I mean, is this a happy In Style Weddings Moment or what?

From the ever talented Tec Petaja

If you have a certain aesthetic sense and want your pictures a certain way, go for it.  Of course we want to have great pictures to capture a great day so prep so you will more likely be happy with your pictures.

Here are some basic steps you should take to achieve that:

• Know what you want and prioritize those shots (photos with your family, silly pictures of you, the venue)
• Find a photographer that has a style that fits your style
• Inform the photographer of your must-have list
• Allow sufficient time for your shots
• Bring any props
• Have additional photographers or friends with nice cameras

But as Mrs T pointed out, what if you did all that and you still don't get what you want? She did have awesome pictures like this though.

That's because if it's a large event like a wedding, there's really only the one chance to take pictures.

So if the photographer's back is turned when your sister is doing the worm, he misses it.  If the photographer didn't frame you in the backdrops you wanted, that's it.  If the photographer didn't get that many close-ups of the happy couple, oh well.

No doubt, it's really disappointing to have imagined all these memories captured perfectly and they weren't.  I had a lot of shots that never happened too and it kinda killed me - no pictures of us in front of the brownstones in Brooklyn Heights (where our ceremony was), no pictures with my girls individually (or at least with the matrons of honor), and few detail shots though I DIYed a ton and was pretty proud of my alencon lace veil, our invitations, and our programs (hmm maybe should share that, they were super easy and fun) - none of which were photographed. 

Of course you could have the post-wedding shoot or a trash the dress session but your Grandma will likely not be in the background inhaling shrimp cocktail in the background (and that could be an awesome shot).  So if you have time and opportunity to do an after session with just you and your partner, go for it. It could be more relaxing this time around.

Also remember to gather pictures from friends that are good photographers (esp. those with SLRs or toy cameras).  You're sure to find a beloved shot or two and all you had to do was feed them (and love them!)  We made our friends upload to our Sugarsync folder (it's our paid online backup of both of our computers with extra storage), but Mrs. T pointed out that, weddingphotoswap.com is a great option and is free.

But if you've done all that and still aren't happy, pick yourself up and move on with your life.  While you may have many beautiful moments and some are captured in pictures, you can't live your life as if it is a photo shoot - prepping and posing for a specific moment.  You have to remember the moment itself and to live it up.  We all want to see styling pictures, no doubt.  I mean I've wanted to share my own pictures with you because I had some amazing vendors and want to call them out, but fear the photos aren't pretty enough (and of course I won't be anonymous anymore).  But don't let this control you and your moments and your satisfaction.  Love the great time you had, not just your pictures.
After our Taiwan reception, I said to Mr. Gadget, "I didn't love how our wedding pictures turned out, but I guess I'm ok with that."  That sage husband turned to me said "Yes and anyway I love the way our marriage turned out."

Swoon...
Obviously the picture obsession became less of an obsession and it took time and acceptance.

You'll get lots of shots where someone's eyes are closed or something isn't right.  Maybe one half of the couple decides to stop cooperating and acting silly.  That's ok because you get shots like these and that is what life is all about...the imperfect pictures and the substance behind them.

I'm done posing and perhaps you'll see those wedding pictures around some day.

Glamorous and Beautiful Items and love

Aww, thanks again to some beautiful blog friends for the blog love.  Err and sorry for the late post (I guess you've already figured out procrastination is definitely one of my traits!)

The Perpetual Party Planner gifted me with the Glamourous Blog Award.

Dawn, the Alternative Wife, presented me with the Beautiful Blogger Award.

 

So a few random tidbits about myself:
1. I won the story telling contest for my school in 4th grade but lost the district competition because I didn't have enough eye contact.  Dang it.  Now I make sure to have lots of eye contact when I give presentations or talk to someone (though not in the staredown kinda way).
2. I have slept through a garbage truck accident (outside) and yet wake up when I hear my husband stir.  Odd.
3. I am perpetually tired.  Sigh if I could sleep an actual 8 hours peacefully...
4. I've only spent over $100 on shoes once (for my Coach Monet boots and I had credit to pay for them).  But I'm thinking of getting a pair of Loubotins though this year.  Am I just a sucker for the red heel?  Maybe.  Either way, I'm going to check them out when they're on sale.

Pretty but not $745 pretty here.

5. I love seafood but can't eat any more because I developed eczema a few years ago and seafood makes me super itchy now.  Of course I had oysters and yellowtail sushi yesterday.  Sigh I have no willpower sometimes.
6. I cook a lot more in London now and Thai food is a new favorite - curry, noodles - yum!
7. Markets are my favorite part of London.  I have a market report or two coming up.  The food, the jewelry vendors - it's all awesome.

And a few glamorous and beautiful things I'm thinking about...
Woven clutch with a Bottega Veneta feel.

From here, only $24.99

Colorful plates

$7.95 at Anthropologie

Fun necklaces

Only $7.80 at Forever 21- how do they do it?

Uber sexy European men...jk

Ahh Bruno, image from here

I think I'm supposed to pass this to a few people so I'd love to pass this to more glamorous gals (choice of whatever award):

Honey my Heart - as sweet as her name

Lindsey M Nelson, Couturier - ahh my future sewing friend when I actually learn how to sew

Kristin and Megan - Bon Bon Rose Girls - for fun and fashion

Midtown Girl - NYC love and hilarious stories

Cafe Fashionista - love her whimsical writing and great finds

Savvy Mode - a girl after my own heart, styling and saving!

Thirty Something Bride - one of my first blogger buddies, both sweet and sassy - she's awesom

Blog Award love and some random things that make me happy

So it's been a whirlwind of jetlag induced, super sweet coconut dessert fueled craziness today.
We were randomly stuck in Bahrain for a few hours, came into Manila about 3 am, and slept for an hour.  We met many of Mr. Gadget's relatives today and were only kept going by the preposterous amount of food being funneled our way (because it's hard to fall asleep when you're chewing you know)

But I am way behind on acknowledging love from fellow bloggers and the lovely awards they bestowed upon me so definitely wanted to share the love.

Thanks to the dear Perpetual Party Planner for giving me this lovely award.

It's always sweet to get something sweet. :)

I've also received the Over the Top Blog award from Ms. Westside Wedding and Wife in the City

Finally my first international award from Born to be Mrs. Beever and Wife in the City (err can't get the image for some reason and I'm sharing Mr. Gadget's Macbook this trip).
But it's the "Este blog es muy fofo" award.

They all had slightly differing requirements, but I still offer you 10 random things that make me happy:
1. Bloggers - because as the Happy 101 awards says, I think of you as my sweet friends. :)  It's so fun learning cool DIYs, reading about the trials and tribulations of living in a certain city, and getting a personal peek into someone's personal journey at a particular stage in his/her life.
I think you should all pick and choose among these awards.

But I will highlight a few cool blogger buddies:
Midtown Girl - because she's my NYC girl and her Single in my City series is pretty darn hilarious
Style Obsession - Jessica has the cutest gift guides and always selects great items
Cafe Fashionista - She has the patience and eye to find some of the coolest fashions around
Bon Bon Rose Girls - they always find such cute chic deals!
Perpetual Party Planner - 1 of my newest bridal blogger buddies has such a cool intl. wedding coming up and a very similar vintage chic style (lace dress love!)

2. Mr. Gadget's ability to put up with my silliness.  
I like to have little dances for certain things.  I invented a triumphant naggy dance and like to bust it out when my nagging has finally enabled him to do something.

3. Chanel
I don't have you (yet), but totally covet a caviar leather classic handbag...soon my pretty

4. The Sunday UpMarket in London
I have so many pictures to share with you.  I just love markets in London - food, custom jewelery, apparel - yay!

5. Good baguettes
A huge plus to living in Europe - fresh baguettes almost everywhere.  So perfect as a snack!

6. Chips/Crisps - I am a savory snack addict and balsamic vinegar and caramelized onion crisps from Walker's are my kryptonite

7. Skype
I am all over the world.  Literally.  Thank goodness for free chats and calls to loves ones.

8. Chicken soup
So perfect on a dreary night or any time you need a pick me up.

9. Shiny crystal wonders
I got a few crystal diamante lovelies during the Jimmy Choo for H&M madness and just got some awesome candleholders with cute crystal flowers around.  Sigh, pictures soon!

10. Little rays of hope
Because life isn't always perfect, but there is always hope and it may be "the best of things, and good things never die".

Free ice cream for volunteerism (and if you're <25)

Rewards in the form of icy treats are always nice.

That and serving your community is a nice break from wedding planning.

Get a 6 oz. cone from Baskin Robbins for joining Do Something.
Though I look young, I sadly can not participate in this promotion. But for the younger readers, go for it!

Six Things that Make me Happy

I've been tagged by Project: 10k wedding and Pink Argyle to list a few things that make me happy. I'll list my favorites of the moment...

Here we go!

1. My Mr. of course - but Charlie Brown has more hair, Mr. Chic 'n Cheap likes it squeaky clean shaven :) 2. Alencon lace - I'm thinking of making 2 separate veils now. I should get on that...3. What I got today...
4. The anti-wedding diet bomb sitting in my fridge
5. Veils, like the birdcage veil below

6. This little dove I randomly saw on Etsy. I don't know what to do with it, but there has to be something right?
I'm going to tag:
1. lilies and grapes
2. A. Mountain. Bride
3. Anna and the Ring
4. One Little Dove
5. Westside Wedding
6. The Frugal Fabulous Bride

I've been tagged - Now Honey my Heart, Pink Argyle, Pro Bridesmaid, TTSB, 8/15 Bride, Lily G, Bailey and Meister!

What is your current obsession?

• Analyzing loads of marketing data for my volunteer gig
• Worrying about finding a job in London
  
• The UK partner visa
• Moving all our stuff without having to ship anything
• Airfares
• Vintage parasols
• Worrying about finding good pictures I can emulate for my wedding
• Our RSVP list - reply please!
  
• Fascinators

Coffee or tea?

Tea. I can't say I have it very much. I don't do caffeine in hopes that when I do have it, it actually keeps me awake.

What’s for dinner?

It's an around the world affair. My most popular dishes are dal, miso roast chicken, stovetop lasagna, and vietnamese style grilled chicken. I try to be healthy and have some vegetables on the side. We had roast tomatoes with balsamic vinegar today. That was good. Lots of things have contained the delicious goodness of balsamic vinegar lately.

What would you eat for your last meal?

Foie gras croquettes, zucca pizza, prosciutto, bahn mi (vietnamese sandwiches), my tofu lemon lime cheesecake, maybe key lime pie, and either soup dumplings or cabbage varaniki (I like things wrapped in dough)

What was the last (and I’m going to add exciting!) thing you bought?

Fit flops. I've been meaning to try them forever and will they really tone my legs? If so, I would totally buy 5 pairs. On sale here! Thanks for recommending Through the Looking Glass!

What are you listening to right now?

What’s the best gift you have ever been given?

Mr. Chic 'n Cheap bought me my ticket to India as a graduation project. That totally rocked. He has also gotten me really cool dresses (I of course had put them on a wish list though).

What is your favourite ice cream flavour?

I used to love Bailey's Irish cream. I haven't had it in a while but still love it. Otherwise, classic vanilla bean please.

What do you think of the person who tagged you?

One Little Dove is so obviously cool because 1) she makes cute, affordable birdcage veils on Etsy and 2) she's getting married in Queens

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

I need to clone myself to go everywhere I want to go. How about scuba diving in the Cayman Islands?

Which language do you want to learn?

Chinese and Spanish fluently. I know both to an extent. If it's a new language, then hindi so I can negotiate on my own in the markets.

What’s your favourite quote (for now)?

I'm Ricky Rubio . I'm not like anybody else.

What is your favourite colour?

Shades of pink or red.

What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?

This is hard. Possibly a cropped jacket from the Behnaz Sarafpour for Target collection because it goes with everything and I'll wear it until I need patches on the elbows. Otherwise, my Lazaro alencon lace dress is oh so lovely.

What is your dream job?

A triple threat entertainer with my own production company. I'd also have side projects in fashion and accessory design.

What is your worst habit?

Picking at my legs.

If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on?

That's not enough. It's going straight to pay some credit card bill or in the savings account.

Do you admire any one’s style?

Rachel Bilson, Jessica Alba, Cate Blanchett

Describe your personal style?

Feminine and simple. I'm not edgy or trendy really but go for the timeless pieces with modern details (e.g. ruching).

What are you going to do after this?

Sleep. I have a lot to do tomorrow.

What are your favourite movies?

Zoolander, Shawshank Redemption...others I can't remember now

What is your favourite fruit?

Watermelon followed closely by blueberries.

What inspires you?

Pictures. DIYs.

Your favourite book?

The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo

Do you collect something?

Handbags. Coupons.

What is your favourite smell?

Banana bread baking in the oven.

What are you most proud of?

My constant professional and personal improvements. As a result, I have a better relationship with my loved ones and have a master's and certifications in my field.

How many times do you press the snooze button before you get up?

None. I hate snoozing and sometimes oversleep.

Cats or dogs?

Neither. It's not fair to have an animal if I can't devote time to take care of it. Probably dogs though.

What’s your biggest fashion mistake?

Socks with clogs back in the day. Yuck. But I only did it once.

What do you look forward to coming home to after you’ve been away?

American junk food - Dorito's, Chex Mix, pretzel chips

Complete the following:

Love is…

the wonderful, challenging thing that truly makes life complete

Which phrase do you feel embodies your spirit?

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. Totally captures the craziness of my life the last two years.

my turn to tag:

Honey my Heart, Pink Argyle, The Professional Bridesmaid, The Thirty-Something Bride, and August 15 Bride, Lilies and Grapes, and Through the Looking Glass

Yeah this is kinda long and took me a while. I would love to know more about you too so feel free to do if you choose.

I want to tag so many more people, but figured I should leave some for others.