6000 miles away - how I'm planning my Taiwanese wedding

Wedding planning is hard...and planning it in another language is even harder.

Obviously. Ugh.

We're going to Taiwan and Philippines around Christmas time for our Asian wedding receptions. It's been a struggle planning the Taiwanese one especially because my reading and writing skills are about the same as those of my 7-year old niece. Someone told me to start watching tv so I'm starting to watch this cartoon.

I also don't want the typical Taiwanese wedding where I'll have to wear this (I love lace, but red lace gloves? No further comments.)I also don't want to pay to feed lots of random people.
So begins my planning for an intimate affair with good food and hopefully a good price!

I've come up with the following tips to keep myself sane (that are relevant for any destination bride):

1. Research as much as you can and review actual user opinions if possible. The expat and restaurant forums have been good for this (Taiwan Fun and Forumuosa for me) .
2. Visit in person if you can. Pictures don't necessarily tell the whole truth. I can't but my aunt can do this for us.
3. Get a wedding planner. My friends that have had destination weddings said this was a great investment. The wedding planner has knowledge and contacts that you may not have.
4. If you can't get a wedding, planner try to find someone local that can help. This is helpful if you don't speak the language or know the area as well and want to try to negotiate or create something custom. In some countries, this person may receive kickbacks for getting you to pick a certain vendor so be careful!
5. Ask around for advice. Friends, co-workers, someone may actually have experience in that area. It doesn't hurt to ask so tell people what you're doing.
6. Limit projects and what you will bring. You can only bring so much luggage and the overage fees aren't worth it. Of course you can always ask other people to help you transport things in their suitcases. But go easy on the projects and source locally if you can.

Any other tips? I really feel for destination brides now - it's hard work!

Open bar vs. bar on consumption

I got sticker shock when we got our venue bill today. The alcohol tab was significantly more than we had estimated. I admit I left out the 30% service/tax in our original total estimate so it was always going to be higher.

When do you choose open bar vs. bar on consumption?
Here is what we did:

• we worked out the math on open bar (remember this is per person including grandma!)
• we worked on a drink estimate per person

We decided to do the bar on consumption because we thought that this would still work out well given the makeup of our guests. Our guests ended up having about 794 drinks according to the bill. We estimated about 300ish. But, this price still ended up being about the open bar package we would have chosen. I'm also still not sure if this is correct as well so we'll see.

But lesson is, be warned that alcohol may still end up costing more than you imagine. Sigh from a non-drinker.

Additional tips when considering bar on consumption (based on newfound experience):

• Waiters may pick up half empty drinks
• Bottles that may not be entirely consumed may still count as a full bottle
• Guests themselves may get more drinks than usual just to try different ones

So the reception wasn't as low budget as we originally thought. But it was still pretty low for NYC and we had a rocking party.

Food and decor - Abigail Kirsch

Ok, I attended my first Abigail Kirsch wedding and agree, her food really is awesome. There is a good reason why she is the exclusive caterer to some of NYC's best spots (NY Botanical Gardens, Lighthouse, etc.)

Cocktail hour:

• beef sliders
• shrimp cocktail
• shrimp scampi dumplings
• mini crabcakes
• pasta station
• carving station - beef and smoked salmon

Seated dinner

• fried mozzarella and vine tomatoes
• arugala salad with tomatoes and parmasean
• steak or chilean sea bass
• toffee, chocolate mouse with marshallows
• chocolate wedding cake with buttercream frosting

The presentation and food itself were well executed. I also loved the multiple dimensions at the Lighthouse - slightly raised dance floor, outdoor terrace, tables flanking the dance floor. The nicest part was the hanging votives from the ceiling - it created a feeling of being outdoors somehow.

Our top contenders also feature multi-levels or indoor and outdoor decor. What do you like best about your reception venues?

Another reception venue

My friends and family are going to kill me, but I found Sunset Terrace through another bridal blogger, Brenda's wedding blog.

It's right around my pricing and it's by the water! Hmm I'll have to call tomorow...

I also have to hound the Tribeca event coordinator for his proposal.

3 Manhattan choices for under $75/person...will update later!

Top Ten Reception Venue Tips

My personal tips when looking for reception venue bargains:

1. Last-minute booking can = great prices (we were offered $70/person for a Sunday in October but I didn't want the cheesy catering hall aspect, that however is now my price barometer)
2. Off-peak times of year = savings (Nov. - April bookings at great venues offer great pricing)
3. Don't be afraid to negotiate - you're giving them money!
4. Compare - vendors can show flexibility if they know someone else is giving you a better price
5. Restaurants are a great option - it's all in there (furniture, servingware, glasses)
6. Think outside the box - galleries, old mansions, event spaces
7. Provide your own F&B when possible (alcohol prices can be insane so if you can supplement, great!)
8. Provide your own rentals when possible (glasses, tableware, etc.)
9. Barter - can you offer your talents in exchange for a lower/free price? Have this in writing and detail agreement (a NY Magazine tip!)
10. Mix up the menu - enhanced cocktail hour and stations vs. a full seated meal can provide great movement and lets your guests interact more (and saves you money)

Bonus Tip:
Talk to brides in your area - they can give you tips for deals!

Less than 4 months to go and no venue!

Hi and welcome to my wedding planning and savings blog!

So am I crazy for planning a NYC wedding in less than 4 months? Possibly. My wedding was actually scheduled for October and we had to change everything because we're moving out of the country. So the adventure begins!

The challenge: finding a reception venue (preferably in Manhattan) that will be chic 'n cheap!

Top choices:
1. Tribeca restaurant - still waiting for proposal
2. Desmond Tutu Center - a Daily Candy suggestion from their new lovely wedding section
(Hopefully that's it because we have to tell our guests this week.)